Dads. Aren’t they great for fixing-up stuff around the home? They’re free, knowledgeable, and you know who they are, so you can trust them.

Sometimes however, it pays to get a professional to do your home repairs.

Here is a collection of six types of Dads who should be barred from tackling your home maintenance. Just say “Thanks, but no”, and make them a cup of tea. Recognise yours?

#1. The Non-Handy Dad.

This Dad will tell you in advance that he can't use a screwdriver. Honest, intelligent and thoughtful, he knows his limitations and sticks to them. Gifted in other areas, he cheerfully lets technicians handle the technical stuff – much to his relief. Give this Dad a pat on the back for ‘knowing himself’ (in the Socratic, not Biblical way).

#2. The Well-Meaning Dad.

Has a heart of gold, but like #1, his tech skills aren’t great. Not wanting to let you down, he’ll procrastinate, meander and make a pretence at progress. As long as there’s a smile on your lips, he’ll continue to fuddle - until you realise he’s getting nowhere - your soap dish will never be re-attached. Let him down gently, and tell him you’ve got it covered.

#3. The Get-It-Half-Done Dad.

This Dad knows his stuff. He’s technical alright - but easily distracted. He’ll make a start, a great start – just enough to raise your hopes – then leave a trail of half-completion. He is a Time Lord who exists in a singularity where the completed and uncompleted job are one. Your job is to coax him back to this reality, and put the tools away.

#4. The Take-Forever Dad.

Take-Forever Dad gives every job the PhD treatment: multiple internet searches; cross-referenced footnotes; an email to an expert and extended chats with the bloke at the hardware. He will evaluate data, draw a graph, allow time for his subconscious to process… and then... Aha! No - false start. As Buddha said “Don’t rush anything. When the time is right, it’ll happen…”

#5. The Busy Dad.

Clark Kent by night, this Dad becomes All-Important-Save-the-World-Super-Dad by day. He’s rescuing four-leaf clovers in Ireland, one-by-one, with his bare hands, in a helicopter. And his hands are full! Of course he can mow your lawn, easily - with a leg tied behind his back. But you know what? - the endangered polar-bears of Uganda have greater priority. Give him a break and let him save the world, lest you become his kryptonite.

#6. The Hair-Trigger Dad.

Unlike Busy Dad, Hair-Trigger has a lot of time on his hands. And he’s good on the tools. But he’s really, really intense. Materials and equipment quake in his presence. If something doesn’t go as planned – a part missing or shelves that won’t align – this Dad’s mercury starts to rise and pretty soon he goes beetroot. You don’t wanna be in the vegie patch when that happens. Lovable, charming, and a larrikin (he taught you all those swear words remember?), his favourite phrase is: “They drew first blood”. Don’t let Rambo near your home repairs!

 

There you have it, six Dads who should remain at (their) home, beer in hand, watching the footy.

Jokes aside, you may benefit from the formal arrangement offered by a professional handyman.

Because you are the customer, he will strive to ensure your satisfaction. You’ll get your jobs fixed fast, and his license, insurance and experience are proof of his competence.

A quality handyman should respond quickly, get the job done, and give you the peace of mind of completion.

Handymen. Many of us are Dads, and most of us are larrikins.

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